Giddy up!
Howdy, ya’ll! Thursday night’s finally the big night, and I don’t mean the local tractor pull down at the mudhole. After a long summer spent waiting, toe meets leather and the college football season is finally here. I’m happier than a pig in slop that it’s finally here! Thought I’d give you’uns some of my personal pigskin prognostications to start this here thing off right. I’m only gonna talk about teams in the top 25 and maybe a extra game or two that interests me.
Thursday, Sept. 3rd.
Utah St. @ 19 Utah- Last year’s score was 58-10 for the Utes. It won’t be quite as bad this year, but it still won’t be much of a game. Utes in a blowout. 41-13 Utes.
14 Oregon @ 16 Boise St- This one will be worth watching, unless you don’t like bright colors. The green and yellow Ducks versus the blue and orange Broncos on the blue smurf turf in Boise. And it should more entertaining than a squirrel in church. Not much defense in this one. I’m calling for a mild upset as the Ducks nip the Broncs of Boise 38-34.
Saturday, Sept. 5th
Good thing I’m starving for some football cause most of these matchups are about as interesting as watching cars rust. Oh well, there’s a couple o’ good ‘uns to tune in.
Akron @ 9 Penn St.- Chalk another W up for Coach Jurassic. Lions unzip Akron 41-6
Navy @ 6 Ohio St.- Sorry, Middies, but you can’t bust this nut. Ohio St. sinks Navy 30-17
Northern Iowa @ 22 Iowa – Another ugly one. Hawkeyes bust out a whoopin’ stick 42-16
Jacksonville St. @ 15 Ga Tech- ‘Cocks get stung by Yellow Jackets. That’s gotta hurt! 48-9
San Jose St @ 4 USC – In a rematch of the Trojan War, the Spartans get the same fate they got in the first meeting 3000 years ago: a butt-whooping USC 48 SJS 6
13 Georgia @ 9 Oklahoma St – Finally a game worthy of the good corn squeezins! Grab a jug and find a comfy spot and watch the Cowpokes and the Dawgs shoot it out in Stillwater. Hide the women and chilluns as this game will be highly offensive, as in no dee-fense. Still, I think these Dawgs have more bite than they’ve let on. I’ve pondered this one long and hard, and I b’lieve I’ll side with the SEC’s Junkyard Dawgs in a close one. Hunker down, you hairy dawgs! Another mild upset UGA 34- Ok St. 30
Nevada @ 23 Notre Dame- If the Irish are napping, they might get caught with their britches down by the Wolfpack. Charlie will be sweating bullets till the final gun sounds in this one. The Wolfpack will make the Catholics more uncomfortable than a nun in a whorehouse before it’s over. Notre Dame 30- Nevada 24
The Citadel @ 21 North Carolina – Surrender now, cadets. UNC 48 Citadel 10
Charleston Southern @ 1 Florida – These Buccaneers are in over their heads in the Gator infested Swamp in Gainesville and there won’t be much left of the pirates when the blood letting is finally over. This is a mismatch akin to enterin’ yore John Deere in the Daytona 500. Tebow is resting by halftime. Gators 77- Charleston 3
La Monroe @ 2 Texas – This game should be played in San Antonio, cause the Warhawks will think they are at the Alamo when it’s over. There won’t be any survivors this time either.
Texas 56- La Monroe 16
Northern Colorado @ 25 Kansas – Another killing. There’s more whoopin’s gonna be handed out today than at a reform school. Kansas 45 NCU 13
20 BYU @ 3 Oklahoma – One of the few contests. The stormin’ Mormons will try and pull the upset, but these Sooners are too well armed to be overrun. This will be another offensive shootout as balls will be flying like gossip at a quilting bee. Oklahoma 42 BYU 21
Fla. Atlantic @ 24 Nebraska – These Owls ain’t gonna like the cornfield when the Huskers get ahold of ‘em. The birds will get shucked and plucked. Nebraska 31 FAU 10
5 Alabama @ 7 Va Tech – Best matchup of the day as these two top 10 teams collide with national reputations at stake. This game also features two of the better defenses in the land, so points will be scarcer than frog hairs as there will be plenty of slobber knockers in this slugfest. Bama has a nasty defense with an attitude to contain the Hokies primary weapon in QB Tyrod Taylor. They also seem to have a few more weapons on offense to attack the Hokie stop unit. These Gobblers will look like a Thanksgiving turkey in the end: stuffed and served with all the trimmings. Bama 23 Va Tech 9
Maryland @ 12 California – The Turtles from Maryland will travel across the country and end up feeding some hungry Bears. Cal 34 Maryland 17
11 LSU @ Washington – The Bayou Bengals will roll into the Pacific Northwest and make Jambalaya out of some Huskies. LSU 31 Washington 10
Bonus game: La Tech @ Auburn – The Louisiana Tech Bulldogs are a dangerous foe for a toothless Auburn Tiger. If the War Eagle aerial assault fizzles, these dogs will bite them. I’m not quite ready to call the upset, but it could happen. If nothing else, the Bulldogs will scare the feathers off these War Buzzards. Auburn 27 La Tech 24
Sunday Sept. 6th
8 Ole Miss @ Memphis – This rivalry is as nasty as yore granny’s spit cup. Most folks don’t know the Rebels and the Tigers are only about an hours drive apart, so they don’t like each other much and it shows. Like Lee at Gettsyburg, I look for the Johnny Rebs to get more than they bargained for. Still, in the end, I suspect the boys from Oxford will prevail. Ole Miss 28 Memphis 20
Monday Sept. 7th
Miami @ 18 Florida St.- Remember when this game was THE game to watch? Now they can’t even sell it out since the ‘Canes are about as powerful a wind as a ceiling fan and the ‘Noles are a weak tribe of Injuns these days. Ole Bobby is still chasin’ Joe Pa, albeit in a wheelchair, in this matchup of has-been teams and coaches. What a yawner to kick off Monday Night football. Might as well hit the hay as to watch this. FSU 24 Miami 18.
That’s all for week one. Hope y’all enjoy the games and the blog! We’ll be back next week with more of the same. Y’all come back now, ya heah?
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This entry was posted on September 2, 2009 at 3:49 am and is filed under NCAA College Football, Phil The Southern Fried Swami, Sports Commentary . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed
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Southern Fried Swami — Opening Weekend @ Last!
Giddy up!
Howdy, ya’ll! Thursday night’s finally the big night, and I don’t mean the local tractor pull down at the mudhole. After a long summer spent waiting, toe meets leather and the college football season is finally here. I’m happier than a pig in slop that it’s finally here! Thought I’d give you’uns some of my personal pigskin prognostications to start this here thing off right. I’m only gonna talk about teams in the top 25 and maybe a extra game or two that interests me.
Thursday, Sept. 3rd.
Utah St. @ 19 Utah- Last year’s score was 58-10 for the Utes. It won’t be quite as bad this year, but it still won’t be much of a game. Utes in a blowout. 41-13 Utes.
14 Oregon @ 16 Boise St- This one will be worth watching, unless you don’t like bright colors. The green and yellow Ducks versus the blue and orange Broncos on the blue smurf turf in Boise. And it should more entertaining than a squirrel in church. Not much defense in this one. I’m calling for a mild upset as the Ducks nip the Broncs of Boise 38-34.
Saturday, Sept. 5th
Good thing I’m starving for some football cause most of these matchups are about as interesting as watching cars rust. Oh well, there’s a couple o’ good ‘uns to tune in.
Akron @ 9 Penn St.- Chalk another W up for Coach Jurassic. Lions unzip Akron 41-6
Navy @ 6 Ohio St.- Sorry, Middies, but you can’t bust this nut. Ohio St. sinks Navy 30-17
Northern Iowa @ 22 Iowa – Another ugly one. Hawkeyes bust out a whoopin’ stick 42-16
Jacksonville St. @ 15 Ga Tech- ‘Cocks get stung by Yellow Jackets. That’s gotta hurt! 48-9
San Jose St @ 4 USC – In a rematch of the Trojan War, the Spartans get the same fate they got in the first meeting 3000 years ago: a butt-whooping USC 48 SJS 6
13 Georgia @ 9 Oklahoma St – Finally a game worthy of the good corn squeezins! Grab a jug and find a comfy spot and watch the Cowpokes and the Dawgs shoot it out in Stillwater. Hide the women and chilluns as this game will be highly offensive, as in no dee-fense. Still, I think these Dawgs have more bite than they’ve let on. I’ve pondered this one long and hard, and I b’lieve I’ll side with the SEC’s Junkyard Dawgs in a close one. Hunker down, you hairy dawgs! Another mild upset UGA 34- Ok St. 30
Nevada @ 23 Notre Dame- If the Irish are napping, they might get caught with their britches down by the Wolfpack. Charlie will be sweating bullets till the final gun sounds in this one. The Wolfpack will make the Catholics more uncomfortable than a nun in a whorehouse before it’s over. Notre Dame 30- Nevada 24
The Citadel @ 21 North Carolina – Surrender now, cadets. UNC 48 Citadel 10
Charleston Southern @ 1 Florida – These Buccaneers are in over their heads in the Gator infested Swamp in Gainesville and there won’t be much left of the pirates when the blood letting is finally over. This is a mismatch akin to enterin’ yore John Deere in the Daytona 500. Tebow is resting by halftime. Gators 77- Charleston 3
Texas 56- La Monroe 16
Northern Colorado @ 25 Kansas – Another killing. There’s more whoopin’s gonna be handed out today than at a reform school. Kansas 45 NCU 13
20 BYU @ 3 Oklahoma – One of the few contests. The stormin’ Mormons will try and pull the upset, but these Sooners are too well armed to be overrun. This will be another offensive shootout as balls will be flying like gossip at a quilting bee. Oklahoma 42 BYU 21
Fla. Atlantic @ 24 Nebraska – These Owls ain’t gonna like the cornfield when the Huskers get ahold of ‘em. The birds will get shucked and plucked. Nebraska 31 FAU 10
5 Alabama @ 7 Va Tech – Best matchup of the day as these two top 10 teams collide with national reputations at stake. This game also features two of the better defenses in the land, so points will be scarcer than frog hairs as there will be plenty of slobber knockers in this slugfest. Bama has a nasty defense with an attitude to contain the Hokies primary weapon in QB Tyrod Taylor. They also seem to have a few more weapons on offense to attack the Hokie stop unit. These Gobblers will look like a Thanksgiving turkey in the end: stuffed and served with all the trimmings. Bama 23 Va Tech 9
Maryland @ 12 California – The Turtles from Maryland will travel across the country and end up feeding some hungry Bears. Cal 34 Maryland 17
11 LSU @ Washington – The Bayou Bengals will roll into the Pacific Northwest and make Jambalaya out of some Huskies. LSU 31 Washington 10
Bonus game: La Tech @ Auburn – The Louisiana Tech Bulldogs are a dangerous foe for a toothless Auburn Tiger. If the War Eagle aerial assault fizzles, these dogs will bite them. I’m not quite ready to call the upset, but it could happen. If nothing else, the Bulldogs will scare the feathers off these War Buzzards. Auburn 27 La Tech 24
Sunday Sept. 6th
8 Ole Miss @ Memphis – This rivalry is as nasty as yore granny’s spit cup. Most folks don’t know the Rebels and the Tigers are only about an hours drive apart, so they don’t like each other much and it shows. Like Lee at Gettsyburg, I look for the Johnny Rebs to get more than they bargained for. Still, in the end, I suspect the boys from Oxford will prevail. Ole Miss 28 Memphis 20
Monday Sept. 7th
Miami @ 18 Florida St.- Remember when this game was THE game to watch? Now they can’t even sell it out since the ‘Canes are about as powerful a wind as a ceiling fan and the ‘Noles are a weak tribe of Injuns these days. Ole Bobby is still chasin’ Joe Pa, albeit in a wheelchair, in this matchup of has-been teams and coaches. What a yawner to kick off Monday Night football. Might as well hit the hay as to watch this. FSU 24 Miami 18.
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This entry was posted on September 2, 2009 at 3:49 am and is filed under NCAA College Football, Phil The Southern Fried Swami, Sports Commentary . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.